Golden Globlahblah and other stories of no consequence

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet because, hello, the Golden Globes? Boring. Quel snooze. This is my theory:

a) there was a HUGE sale/closeout on one shoulder dresses. (apparently, since EVERYONE had one on...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).

b) all the dresses got thrown into a big room and the actresses were forced to "first dibs" it like, say, a girl looking for last season Chanel at a bargain basement warehouse sale.

c) sickly thin is the new skinny. (really, Jennifer Garner, eat -- that dress would have been so much more fetching on you IF you weighed about 10 more pounds).

Sadly, I will have to get out my pointer stick and make examples of a few of them before I get to the ones I loved, of which there are three.

Example 1: Kate Hudson:


She looks like fondant -- and not in a good way, not that there is every really a good way to look like fondant. White works on so very few people in any arena other than a wedding. And full-on boned, strapless white with a train is just a really good way to get yourself made fun of. And the shoes...oh the horror of the shoes. Take notice ladies, this is what the new trend of platform heels will do to you. For one, they take away the femininity of this frock and two, they make her feet look like clubs. It's Princess Di meets Ziggy Stardust. Not good. Not good at all.

Example 2: Julia Roberts


Never have I had a cross word to say about Julia Roberts' style. I've always admired her boho chic spirit and her ability to do classic and elegant all in a single bound. But, sister, you were nominated for Best Actress. While I totally respect the want and desire for vintage YSL and, granted, I'd give up chocolate for that necklace, couldn't you have rocked something a little more interesting than a cocktail length black dress? Something that says, hey, I'm so excited to be here and thrilled for the nom? I guess once you've won an Oscar, you don't have to go all Elie Saab on the red carpet but really...I'd wear this to get coffee. Ok, maybe a cocktail but certainly not to the Golden Globes.


I could probably pick a few more (Heidi Klum and Nicole Kidman you have fashion detention until further notice) but really, right now, who cares who wore what. It's old news and the world has much bigger problems. So, to lighten you up, here are three gorgeous dresses on three very gorgeous women, in order of gorgeousness. Gorgeocity? Gorgeandipity?...


Emily Blunt in Dolce & Gabbana. Fabulous color for her, the dress is romantic but still interesting. And wow, look at her arms! Or should I call them guns?


Diane Kruger in Christian Lacroix Haute Couture. Lacroix, darling, Lacroix!


And my personal favorite: Meryl Streep in a Chris March (of Project Runway fame) gown. It's not just that I like the dress, it's interesting but certainly not show-stopping. It's that I love Meryl and she is so absolutely beautiful from the inside out and back again. You inspire me, Meryl; where would we be without you?

In Other News:
Having been sadly disappointed by the McQueen line for Target and at least a good 5 years to old for the Anna Sui AND the Rodarte line, I'd just turned a blind eye to "Targ" related news. And then I saw this little shimmer of light as the Zac Posen Lookbook made it's way around the Internet. And I actually loved it all. ALL OF IT, I tell you. It's diverse, edgy and classic all rolled into one. And then, as if the heavens heard me rejoice in excitement at my renewed love for all things Targ, the announcement of Jean Paul Gaultier's line hit the news this week, too. I liken this excitement to me standing in Harrod's between (not in front of or off to the side of mind you, but BETWEEN) Galliano gowns nine years ago. Gaultier, darling, Gaultier!!!

insert silly schoolgirl squeal here

I smell a lawsuit:
And I should be pretty good at picking up on those given my past work experience. Newport News has ripped off Prada. Does Prada know? Does she even care? I wouldn't be so "whistleblower" about it if it were, say, pretty? But it's not. So I will. Behold.



It's patent leather. And it's white. And it's patent leather. Shame on you, Newport News. Shame...on...you.

No more news to report for now; thank you for letting me unleash the fury from my shiny brain. I have been neglecting the fashion blog lately to focus on my house and all things domestic. It was temporary; we now return to your regularly scheduled program already in progress.

xoxo,
kvlm

CFDA Fashion Frenzy

I love awards shows. The glamour, the fashion...the drama. The CFDA Awards are a little different, a little more serious if you will. Or maybe it's just the blend of designers, industry insiders, models, actors, actresses and musicians. And finally the designers get the kudos they so richly deserve. Like (my heaven known as) Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton who won the International Award. Or the Geoffrey Beene Lifetime Acheivement Award taken home by Anna Sui (and presented by Jack White). Women's Designer of the Year went to the Rodarte team of Kate & Laura Mulleavy (see Kirsten Dunst below). And the Board of Directors' Special Tribute Award, presented by Diane von Furstenburg, went to none other than our First Lady, Michelle Obama, for her commitment to American designers. Oh, if only I'd had a ticket. Or if only someone would jump on televising this! Hello...VH1? Bravo?? Somebody, anybody...

Each time there's an awards show, I try to think of each photo individually so as not to over "write" but you know what? I'm a writer, so bear with me. I can't just stick one photo up with a five sentence paragraph and feel ok. It's all or nothing, people.

So my favorite look of the night really shocked me. And what shocks me even more is that, yea!, an Olsen twin is smiling!!! Alert the media! She must have had a sandwich.

I love everything about this. The color, the fit, the detail, her whole look is fantastic. I'm assuming it's vintage YSL or perhaps Valentino judging by the shape, but whatever it is, it works.

My second favorite is probably the most simple.

It's total badass rocker chic and it's classic Agyness Deyn in gorgeous Anna Sui. Now I have to admit that I'm kind of over AD-everywhere; the girl has BEEN everywhere. But this look is what sets her aside and I totally dig it, head to toe.

I really love Coco Rocha in this Michael Kors number. Simple lines, great color, great hair, perfect makeup. Super hot.


A few more I love:
Diane Kruger in Jason Wu. (She seems to always make really great fashion decisions).

Heidi, of course. We have a bit of Heidi-obsession in this household...she's my husband's "other girlfriend" and I just really adore her energy, style, and attitude. In Michael Kors, of course.

I thought Tracey Ullman, who hosted, looked radiant in Doo.Ri and, as always, Ms. von Furstenburg looks fab.

And one of my last favorites, but certainly not least, Jack White. I don't know why I like this really other than that the brown's match his jaundice better than his traditional black does. I feel like I can actually "see him" for once...his jet black locks usually melt right in to whatever he's wearing and all you are left with are deep set floating eyes on not quite white skin. It's kind of creepy in a fascinating Bram Stoker sort of way. But I digress...

Let's just cut to the chase now and talk about what I didn't like. Starting with the look I just can't seem to get out of my mind because it is totally mind-numbling annoying. Behold.
I keep hearing that Blake Lively is an up and coming fashion icon but I'm just not seeing it. Cute girl; cute dress; but first of all boring! and second of all every single solitary shot of her from the event in her hot pink Kors dress shows her with her thumbs hooked painfully in those front pockets like she's John Wayne's effing granddaughter (or great perhaps?) getting ready to sling out her six-shooter and swagger her way back into the saloon. As Stanley Tucci said in the Devil Wears Prada, give me a full ballerina skirt and a hint of saloon and I'm on board, which I totally get but yeah, not this. It isn't so much "I'm-a-badass" as it is "I'm-trying-so-hard-to-be-cool." Loosen up. It's much cooler looking. And take your freakin' hands OUT of your pockets.

What in the name of the good Holy Lord is Doutzen Kroes wearing? Granted, it's Zac Posen. Given Tucci's quote above. Given a hallucinogenic. Given a different dress. Please. There is just nothing ok about this other than the color. It's like Cinderella, Stevie Nicks, and Malificent are somehow possessing Posen. And not in a good way.

Lonneke Engel in Marchesa. Honestly triggers my gag reflex. It's like a bad ice skating costume from the '80's. In truth, it probably wasn't a bad design but then someone (a stylist? the donner?) decided it would be cute to have it shortened. Yeah, no.

Now this one was a hard one for me. I really actually love the dress...I mean what's not to love about a 1950's style bustier top poufy dress with layers and layers of tulle and Marilyn Monroe's face emblazoned all over white satin? Seriously. I'll take three. But there's just something so ultra-boring about Molly Sims wearing this Dolce & Gabbana. Picture, if you will, the dress on someone like Dita von Teese. High drama, mega-makeup, super sex appeal...the focus on her, not Marilyn (a hard thing to do). Molly doesn't cut it. The super-shiney-happy-California girl look just does not work with this dress. At all. Sorry.

No. Michelle Trachtenberg. No. No. The dress doesn't flatter you at all. The makeup is alien shiney. The hair is I Dream of Jeannie on a bad day. None of it works. Plus you are what? 24? You look ten years older than that. I am all about some Behnaz Sarafpour designs (who is in the photo with Michelle) but this look is a big fat fail, sister. FAIL.

Look everybody! It's Edward Scissorhands' sister! I always thought he was an only-freak. Seriously though, dear Lydia Hearst, you are a Hearst. Surely you can afford a) some food and b) some shoes that would actually compliment that dress. The shoes ruin the dress ruin the hair ruin the makeup. And it all had such potential. Le sigh.


Another one I'm on the fence about...it's not the dress, I dig the dress, and I think I like the shoes. Maybe not the shoes with the dress? I'm not sure. Or maybe it's KiKi looking different than she has in ages. I don't know. I'm confused. Or scared. Hm.

Tallulah Belle Willis in Calvin Klein Collection. Something about this dress reminds me of the following: jellies; my mom's white overly smocked bathing suit from 1978; a jewelry bag; a parachute. I think it's the photograph. I hope, for her sake, it's the photograph.

Hey, even fashion people make mistakes. Next up: the CMT's (yes, I know I'm behind but there was so much fashion debockery in one week I just sat stunned in silence for days).

xo, k.