19 January 2010

Golden Globlahblah and other stories of no consequence

I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet because, hello, the Golden Globes? Boring. Quel snooze. This is my theory:

a) there was a HUGE sale/closeout on one shoulder dresses. (apparently, since EVERYONE had one on...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).

b) all the dresses got thrown into a big room and the actresses were forced to "first dibs" it like, say, a girl looking for last season Chanel at a bargain basement warehouse sale.

c) sickly thin is the new skinny. (really, Jennifer Garner, eat -- that dress would have been so much more fetching on you IF you weighed about 10 more pounds).

Sadly, I will have to get out my pointer stick and make examples of a few of them before I get to the ones I loved, of which there are three.

Example 1: Kate Hudson:

She looks like fondant -- and not in a good way, not that there is every really a good way to look like fondant. White works on so very few people in any arena other than a wedding. And full-on boned, strapless white with a train is just a really good way to get yourself made fun of. And the shoes...oh the horror of the shoes. Take notice ladies, this is what the new trend of platform heels will do to you. For one, they take away the femininity of this frock and two, they make her feet look like clubs. It's Princess Di meets Ziggy Stardust. Not good. Not good at all.

Example 2: Julia Roberts

Never have I had a cross word to say about Julia Roberts' style. I've always admired her boho chic spirit and her ability to do classic and elegant all in a single bound. But, sister, you were nominated for Best Actress. While I totally respect the want and desire for vintage YSL and, granted, I'd give up chocolate for that necklace, couldn't you have rocked something a little more interesting than a cocktail length black dress? Something that says, hey, I'm so excited to be here and thrilled for the nom? I guess once you've won an Oscar, you don't have to go all Elie Saab on the red carpet but really...I'd wear this to get coffee. Ok, maybe a cocktail but certainly not to the Golden Globes.

I could probably pick a few more (Heidi Klum and Nicole Kidman you have fashion detention until further notice) but really, right now, who cares who wore what. It's old news and the world has much bigger problems. So, to lighten you up, here are three gorgeous dresses on three very gorgeous women, in order of gorgeousness. Gorgeocity? Gorgeandipity?...

Emily Blunt in Dolce & Gabbana. Fabulous color for her, the dress is romantic but still interesting. And wow, look at her arms! Or should I call them guns?

Diane Kruger in Christian Lacroix Haute Couture. Lacroix, darling, Lacroix!

And my personal favorite: Meryl Streep in a Chris March (of Project Runway fame) gown. It's not just that I like the dress, it's interesting but certainly not show-stopping. It's that I love Meryl and she is so absolutely beautiful from the inside out and back again. You inspire me, Meryl; where would we be without you?

In Other News:
Having been sadly disappointed by the McQueen line for Target and at least a good 5 years to old for the Anna Sui AND the Rodarte line, I'd just turned a blind eye to "Targ" related news. And then I saw this little shimmer of light as the Zac Posen Lookbook made it's way around the Internet. And I actually loved it all. ALL OF IT, I tell you. It's diverse, edgy and classic all rolled into one. And then, as if the heavens heard me rejoice in excitement at my renewed love for all things Targ, the announcement of Jean Paul Gaultier's line hit the news this week, too. I liken this excitement to me standing in Harrod's between (not in front of or off to the side of mind you, but BETWEEN) Galliano gowns nine years ago. Gaultier, darling, Gaultier!!!

insert silly schoolgirl squeal here

I smell a lawsuit:
And I should be pretty good at picking up on those given my past work experience. Newport News has ripped off Prada. Does Prada know? Does she even care? I wouldn't be so "whistleblower" about it if it were, say, pretty? But it's not. So I will. Behold.

It's patent leather. And it's white. And it's patent leather. Shame on you, Newport News. Shame...on...you.

No more news to report for now; thank you for letting me unleash the fury from my shiny brain. I have been neglecting the fashion blog lately to focus on my house and all things domestic. It was temporary; we now return to your regularly scheduled program already in progress.


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