07 May 2009

Open Letter to Ty Ty

Dear Tyra,
In the words of me, Que dans l'enfer? (francais for "what the hell?") I started watching America's Next Top Model the very first season, knowing from the very first episode that Yoanna had it in the bag. And if she didn't, then someone had lost their marbles over at CW and Cover Girl (though I'm not entirely sure there's a full bag of marbles between the lot of you). Since Yoanna, the only other two girls that have ever stood out above and beyond the general pack of packaged beauty on the show were Heather and Celia (above). And you cut them both. Celia for being so very old (oh no, she's 25....gasp, horror, oh the humanity! but wait, didn't you know that at casting?) and Heather for cracking under the pressure during her go-sees because, well, she has Asperger's Syndrome and that was a lot for her to handle especially in a foreign country.

I therefore think I am on the brink of a full-on ANTM boycott, much to my dismay. It is my superficial outlet; my Wednesday ritual; my well dressed train wreck. Although I vow to turn a deaf, finely jeweled ear to the season premiere every season, something in me pulls like the suction my front door creates as it sucks in wasps off the azalea each and every evening. I usually find a four-inch heel and smack that wasp down though, so what's a girl to do?

What I don't get is why you continue to accept people into the competition who have very obvious and non-alterable obstacles the modeling world will never accept? This is twice a woman over the age of 23 has made it so close to the end she could smell the Chanel No. 5 wafting through the silkscreen. And twice they were cut for "having a mature face." So why even bother? Ratings? Trying to throw the net wide to increase viewership from multiple demographics? Probably. But I think you made a huge mistake last night. This was the best thing you had going:

Somewhat magical and ethereal in character, confident, stylish and above all interesting (which is more than I can say for who is left for the panel to judge). She's got an avant garde edge that belongs on a runway and could rock any Cover Girl ad geared at the age range Cover Girl goes after (hello, Christie Brinkley???). So I'm not sure why she got cut, but even more confused why you led her on as long as you did.

I think my ANTM days are officially over. Though I will miss Mr. Jay and Mrs. Jay and Nigel, I will not miss the hypocrisy that while I know exists in the fashion world, the show continues to perpetrate with no hopes of changing what the world defines as "beauty." Come on, people, think outside of the plastic suffocating Barbie box. Girls like Celia are the next rounds of Kristen McMenamy's and Nadja Auermann's. And where would we be if someone hadn't noticed them:

Nadja Auermann

Kristen McMenamy

not so much on the love,

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