Couture Confection's 2009

Ah...couture. It's like a fantasty trip into another dimension where I can only look through a very thick plate glass window while cradling some hope that, beyond these brillant artistic creations trickling down into ready-to-wear, I can maybe pick up a piece or two of inspiration here and replicate it in some fashion, however small. Couture is the high-art of fashion and some pieces look as if they belong more in the Louvre than they do on the street; in fact, they do.

To some, couture may seem an unnecessary venture at present, given the economic state of, well, the entire world. But to me, to many, couture stands on a vital pivot of optimism, light, and determination. In many ways, it's the fashion world's battle cry that says, this too shall go on! It's crucial to the history book being written as each House takes a gasp or two of air, going back under until the whole downturn blows over and praying that it does.

I try really hard, after the shows are over, to do two things. 1) Don't read what other people write about them. I want my opinion to be as unbiased as possible, even though my opinion, in the grand scheme of the fashion universe, doesn't really amount to a hill of glass beads. 2) Choose a handfull of defining photographs that capture the spirit of each show. Both are virtually impossible to do. 1) Everyone writes on the shows, I get 15 emails a day with updates, highlights, etc. etc. I have just have to turn a blind eye...oh but it's so hard! 2) Yeah. No. That's like trying to "chose your favorite star."

Alexis Mabille is a newcomer to the couture scene, somewhat evident by his collection, but it still is a refreshing swirl of colors and fantastic fabrics. I don't know that is exactly what I'm looking for in a couture show, although you can see the potential all the while imagining where he'll be in 10 years, so I'm not including images. I like to save space for those ones that make me swoony.

Giorgio Armani's Armani Prive smacked of Katherine Hepburn shaped suits mixed with a bit of shimmer, a monochromatic palette, and lush velvet; 1940's reinvented. The suit was dominant, with tight pagoda shoulders and straight legs. I always love Armani's gowns; I particularly loved these two:




I am not really sure how I feel about Karl Lagerfeld right now other than the fact that I think he needs to put food in his mouth instead of constantly insulting people. In the past few months he has successfully insulted Heidi Klum and Audrey Tatou. I'm sure Klum let it role off her perfect backside that he said she's fat (in which case he would probably compare me to some sort of sea creature such as the manatee), what, two times? But Audrey Tatou is the new official spokesmodel of Chanel AND she's playing Coco in the soon-to-come biopic so I think that one is slightly more unforgiveable. As for his collection, well, Karl can do whatever the fuck Karl wants to do, and I only say it that particular way because that's what he would say, yeah? I wasn't a fan of most of it; his muted palette's reminded me of the Depression and I think that's exactly what couterer's don't want people thinking about. In my humble opinion, I think it lacked editing but what do I know? I did, however, adore all of these:






When I dream about fashion heaven, which is at least a few nights a week, my very first thought is always, always Christian Dior. Now, then, forever, Christian Dior. John Galliano, I adore you...you are in my top ten list of people who would probably make me completley stupid if ever I were lucky enough to have a peeptoe pump in your magical presence (and for that, he is the only designer I would ever include the final shot from a show of...well and I love the two ensembles flanking him...but look at him! the man is magnifique!) I love this show on so many many levels, and not just because I am a) completely bias here and b) a bit of a vintage whore, but also, think of it this way: he took a return to Dior basics...the structure, the colors, the New Look glam of it all, which, I think, in this repressed economy, was a fantastic idea. It says, hey, remember why you come to this House...well, in case you don't, let me remind you. And suddenly you are sucked into a colorful, sexy and classic Dior slice of heaven. (There we go with that heaven again...)







It was said that Lacroix was literally pulling fabrics and trims from every corner and from every friend he could think of to pull this show of as the House of Lacroix seems to be breathing it's last breath (let's all pray that's not true). I think the collection was beautifully edited, pulled together, had a few of the classic over-the-top touches Lacroix is known for, while erring on the almost practical. If this is his last collection (for now, anyway), it was well done and refined. I thoroughly believe the black and white graphic below will find it's way into many an "inspired" ready-to-wear garment by year's end.





It's easy to see why Lebanese designer Elie Saab is such an Oscar favorite...his work is the pinnacle of what every girl imagines herself walking down the red carpet in. It's almost Peaches-n-Cream Barbie Doll perfection and I don't mean that in a bad way. Of all of my flocks and flocks of Barbie clothes, that is the one dress I remember vividly (dork flag, flying high). It was a little odd that Saab chose to put on an all white show shortly after Lagerfeld did the same thing. And some of the detail is undeniably similar to Michelle Obama's Jason Wu she wore for her first dance as First Lady. I didn't see Saab here in a lot of ways...his structure was off, and no color? I mean really, no color? He's kind of known for his crayola box of monotone dresses. Some of these felt like they just simply belonged to someone else. These I liked, but never was there full on in love. Unfortunate.





I'm not sure about Riccardo Tisci's collection for Givenchy either...I am absolutely on the fence about it. It certainly had depth and intrigue. I was immediatley attracted to the mysterious vibe that floated around each girl, the Indian influnece, the henna, the sarouel-effect he used quite well without being over done, I adore the velvet (there are two kinds of girls: velvet girls and leather girls, I am DEFINITELY a velvet girl), and this piece below I just fell for. But the pants really threw me off. The jodphur inspired trousers ranged from slightly more ballooned than the classic to rivaling those of MC Hammer. I'm not sure that's a look I'm ready for. Those and harem pants...no thanks, man. But this...this color, this silhoette, this drama...this is the kind of thing a girl would take another girl out over. Seriously. Can you imagine? Literally makes me palpitate. This may have my award for best couture piece of the season (you know, because I give those out and people care. Yeah, not).



There's a reason Madonna goes to John Paul Gaultier. That mix of the Marlene Dietrich attempt at titillating androgyny blended with blatant sex appeal spun on an edge...HOT. Dear G-d, so HOT. I love the pieces below...so classic Hollywood masterfully stirred in 2009. If I could have a closet full of suits in this vain, I would probably sell all my furniture, vintage bags, and any piece of designer clothing I have (well, excluding my Marc) to do it. Perfection.





Pier Paolo Piccioli and Maria Grazia Chiuri over at Valentino were alive in black. And to be more specific, quite skilled in creating a swarm of night bird's. Every girl's dress seemed some sort of magical symbiosis that was at once both over done lace and tulle while being completely organic. I loved the shoes, but the shoes often caught my attention more than the dresses. It's not that I didn't love the collection, I mean come on, it's Valentino, but I think this may be one of those collections you have to see in person to fully appreciate. It just felt like there was something missing. Like it was couture "light." Now I wonder how long it will be before I'm struck down my lightening for criticizing thy name, Valentino.





xoxo, kvlm

Open Letter to Ty Ty

Dear Tyra,
In the words of me, Que dans l'enfer? (francais for "what the hell?") I started watching America's Next Top Model the very first season, knowing from the very first episode that Yoanna had it in the bag. And if she didn't, then someone had lost their marbles over at CW and Cover Girl (though I'm not entirely sure there's a full bag of marbles between the lot of you). Since Yoanna, the only other two girls that have ever stood out above and beyond the general pack of packaged beauty on the show were Heather and Celia (above). And you cut them both. Celia for being so very old (oh no, she's 25....gasp, horror, oh the humanity! but wait, didn't you know that at casting?) and Heather for cracking under the pressure during her go-sees because, well, she has Asperger's Syndrome and that was a lot for her to handle especially in a foreign country.

I therefore think I am on the brink of a full-on ANTM boycott, much to my dismay. It is my superficial outlet; my Wednesday ritual; my well dressed train wreck. Although I vow to turn a deaf, finely jeweled ear to the season premiere every season, something in me pulls like the suction my front door creates as it sucks in wasps off the azalea each and every evening. I usually find a four-inch heel and smack that wasp down though, so what's a girl to do?

What I don't get is why you continue to accept people into the competition who have very obvious and non-alterable obstacles the modeling world will never accept? This is twice a woman over the age of 23 has made it so close to the end she could smell the Chanel No. 5 wafting through the silkscreen. And twice they were cut for "having a mature face." So why even bother? Ratings? Trying to throw the net wide to increase viewership from multiple demographics? Probably. But I think you made a huge mistake last night. This was the best thing you had going:



Somewhat magical and ethereal in character, confident, stylish and above all interesting (which is more than I can say for who is left for the panel to judge). She's got an avant garde edge that belongs on a runway and could rock any Cover Girl ad geared at the age range Cover Girl goes after (hello, Christie Brinkley???). So I'm not sure why she got cut, but even more confused why you led her on as long as you did.

I think my ANTM days are officially over. Though I will miss Mr. Jay and Mrs. Jay and Nigel, I will not miss the hypocrisy that while I know exists in the fashion world, the show continues to perpetrate with no hopes of changing what the world defines as "beauty." Come on, people, think outside of the plastic suffocating Barbie box. Girls like Celia are the next rounds of Kristen McMenamy's and Nadja Auermann's. And where would we be if someone hadn't noticed them:




Nadja Auermann



Kristen McMenamy

not so much on the love,
kvlm

Pump the Brakes

I've been a long time follower of the annual Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. I think it all started that year my sister and I blatantly charged a full-service trip to the Big Apple just to go to the Institute's Haute Couture exhibit. Boy, did it take me years to pay off that debt...but it was well worth it. It was my introduction to Vionnet, Worth and the beginnings of exquisitely designed frocks.

The Gala is kind of like the Oscars times ten, on steroids, and with a couple of rounds of Red Bull and Vodka. Unlike the Oscars, where every second or third person is worth a pan-out, every Gala attendant is trying to thrill onlookers. Or scare them, I'm not really sure which because this year it looks like they chased that Red Bull and Vodka with a magnum of broken glass...that was covered in acid...set on fire and mixed with fruit punch.

This year's event was entitled "Model as Muse," a throwback to the famous faces gracing millions of covers over several decades. And you know I'm all about a good supermodel. Mix that with the overall struggle to live up to the Costume Institute's catalog and you get one dangerous cocktail. Behold...

note: not sure what's going on with some of the pictures but i've been writing this forfreakinever so i'm not fixing it...just click for larger views, girls!



Far be it for me to say anything negative about the hierarchy of global fashion, but Anna Wintour needs to a) eat a burger and b) stop borrowing upholestry from her interior decorator. I know it's Chanel but even Chanel, on a stick insect, can't save her. Paulina Porizkova, "legendary supermodel" who now judges America's Next Top Model (in the most annoying of ways, I might add) looks like a push-up and a lemondrop had a baby and threw up Gossamer. I just do not get this color combination. And Hilary Swank? Do you remember when Carol Burnette used to parade around the stage with tennis balls in her top and her shoulders slumped? Yes, so do I. And you are a dead ringer for her in this gown. Michael Kors < fail.


What in the name of Knots Landing is this? I mean seriously, my expectations of all three of these gorgeous women are so much higher. Brooke dates herself about ten years in this teal column with very '80's hair and makeup; Cindy, while the dress fits her supremely, looks a bit like the Cookie Monster in satin with head to toe blue; and Molly Sims looks like Jiffy Pop deluxe got hit with a bedazzler. Frightening girls, just frightening. And note the shoes...the whole short dress/clunky shoe combo was everywhere and I am not a fan. NOT a fan.


Now these three scare me all for very different reasons, they're just inconsequently short. I love Anne's Marc Jacobs dress...I think...the color is regal, the design is flawless. But the hair, the shoes and the make-up smack of Joan Collins and that's just not ok. Give me about three more inches on that hem, a really good push-up bra and softer locks and we would be good to go. Now Diane Kruger's Chanel dress is adorable and I love the black accents. Again, just wish the hem had a little more...substance? Same for Kate. The best thing about her ensemble is what she has on her arm, and while the designer is responsible for her look, I can't help but really not love this Marc Jacobs. She looks like my Grandma in the early 70's; she's just had her hair "did," and nothings been laundered except the outfit she wore to that costume party about the music she didn't understand. Awesome.


I hate to pick on newly engaged and glowing Clare Danes in her Armani Prive. It's not that she doesn't look lovely...the color is good for her, it's elegant, her skin is amazing. But this is a good lesson in proportion. The line of the top looks entirely too low for her thin neck and rather defined clavicles making her, well, bosom look much smaller; therefore the space between her girls and her waist looks a lot shorter than it actually is giving her waist little definition and drawing more attention to the width of her thighs. And Clare Danes doesn't really have "thighs." So...yeah, sorry for the long drawn out but this is something I see a lot in thin girls who have some curves down south but not much up north. You have to be careful of that waist line! (Wow...I sound like an old seamstress named Hazel who is like 55 years old and wears the same thing every day).

Anyscare, let's move on to the goth in between. Karen Elson, simply, looks like Coppola's Lucy from Dracula (not that that's necessarily a bad thing, depending on the day and my mood) but the fact that Jack is looking ever so jaundiced as usual, coupled with the Stoker feel of her overall schtick, really is overkill. But I would like to give him a nod for his shoes. I just want to cut his hair, straighten his spine and get him some sun. Didn't he read V.C. Andrews? Too little sun can lead to an enlarged nog. Geez.

Do you even recognize Rachel Weisz, that seering magical British beauty everyone adores, in the third photo? Because I didn't. It would appear that Mistress Wang got a hold of my lovely girl and tulled her to death. Even she looks confused. From the knees to the top of the dress, I love it...I mean what girl doesn't get a little doe-eyed over ballet pink and tulle? From the knees down it looks a bit like the fairy skirt I stapled to a ribbon for my nieces third Halloween. But I actually used colors that went together. And speaking of things that don't go together...Tyra's hair doesn't go with anything. Ever. At all. Period. Is it a hat? Is it a weave? Is it a backwards chignon? I don't know but apparently she's starving her do the same way she's starving her body. One can only assume that she followed Goop's detox diet since the highlight of this Gala would be on models of her decade...and lord knows child did not want to look like she'd had too many date nights with Ben & Jerry when she's wearing Badgley (&) Mischka.


I know two girls whose stylists are out of a job today.


What on earth has happened to Selma Blair? And who told her that hand bag was ok with her black Marc Jacobs? And why is Winona Ryder still relevant? And what in the name of the Good Lord is she wearing?


Now this is just the creme de la creme of fashion no-no's. And it's the creme de la creme of fashionistas; the Godmother of all things cool and trendsetting. Now I get that the Costume Institute Gala allows people to push the envelope a bit and teeter on that fine line between clothing and costuming but really? What in the hell? The actual concept of the "dress" (and I use that term very loosely) is interesting (it is, afterall, Louis Vuitton) but if you close your eyes real tight (you know, after the gag reflex of seeing Madge this way) you can almost envision this dress with a few more tiers and hitting the floor...think saloon if you will. But the thing in the hair just looks like she had some sort of horrid and rancid breakdown in the process of getting ready for this shindig. Like maybe she had a very Scarlett moment and got ahold of her curtains. I don't know...I just know it's bad. Real bad. Bai Ling bad...no, maybe even worse.

However, I get now why Jesus is named Jesus, because JESUS...look at that man.

I only stuck Leighton Meester next to Madge because this, too, is Louis Vuitton. Now, honestly, I don't hate this. The structure is fantastically interesting and the color is great. And she looks edible. But that four inches between her shin and her ankle? Yeah not so much. Just say no to Xanadu, people, say no.

Ok...phew. So this is how NOT to do it, so let's go on to how TO do it:


Agyness Deyn in Burberry; Emma Roberts in Atelier Versace (this is how to do short dresses with clunky shoes!); Ivanka Trump in Brian Reyes; and Marion Cotillard in Galliano with the designer.


Zac Posen and Helena Christensen in his design (doesn't he look incredible!); Mary-Kate Olsen in Christian Lacroix (thank G-d someone wore Christian Lacroix last night); Heidi Klum and her adorable pregnant self in J Mendel with the designer, Gilles Mendel; Victoria Beckham (signature pose?) in Marc Jacobs.


Kate Hudson, Stella McCartney, Liv Tyler and Kate Bosworth all in Stella McCartney.


These are the girls we love! Kristen McMenamy in Givenchy Couture; Amber Valleta in vintage James Galanos; Shalom Harlow; Stella Tennant in vintage Helmut Lang; Natalia Vodianova in vintage Fortuny; Nadja Auermann in Lanvin; and Eva Herzigova in vintage Dolce & Gabbana.


And the five best go to...Elizabeth Hurley in Elie Saab; Jessica Biel in Versace (her stylist should get a huge raise for this one); Oluchi Onweagba in Oscar de la Renta; and Shalom Harlow...and number five...


Veronica Lake or Kate Bosworth? She really embodies the history and glamour that is housed behind the glass installation at the Costume Institute. It's classic and current at the same time. Stella McCartney's design is flawless on her. And if you have any question of that, just take a gander at Bruce Willis' face.


xoxo, k.