I had to give my hand muscles a break after blogging like some manic fashionista for well over a month straight. I'm not sure but I don't think the muscle pads under my thumbs are supposed to look like Arnold's biceps. I think some might term that "a problem" as in "addiction" as in "Kara might need a fashion 12 step." Sadly, I probably do. Unemployment lends itself to so very much gratuitous indulgence. (Ok, not really...it just lends itself to so very much free time...ahem.)
So on this Thursday, this is what's on my mind: designer lines for Target, skincare that must have been made from angels tears, and why on earth did she wear that? (see below for more specifics).
Designer Lines for Target
I remember when I read the news that McQueen was doing a line for Target. I was positively giddy. Until I saw it and (G-d rest McQueen, I loved him so) I was really disappointed. I'm not entirely sure what people expect out of these designer collaborations for Target but when you are really familiar with a designer's work, I think your expectations might be just a smidge higher. Ok, maybe more than a smidge. Maybe it's my want to buy high end when I don't have a high end budget? Maybe.
But I will say I am always willing to give things a chance -- I like to be an equal opportunity shopper (you'd be amazed at what you can find if you are just open to looking beyond the one or two stores you think define you...but that is another soapbox for another day).
I will admit I had really high expectations for the Liberty of London for Target line because, wow, the marketing was really, really well done! The commercials were colorful and somewhat floral-ly arresting, but still, they caught my attention.
I went on a Sunday afternoon. The line launched that morning.
My first visual: a Liberty of London rack with two shirts left hanging. My first thought: well awesome....you can rest assured you will look like everyone else in town now for sure (not my goal).
My second visual: tons of dresses in really bad fabrics. My second thought: unimpressed. Already. If there is one thing I cannot stand it is bad/cheap fabric against my skin. Couple that with the one shouldered-ruffled maxi disaster hanging from the white hanger and I was about ready to turn and run.
But I soldiered on to sleepwear. It wasn't quite as bad as I'd expected given what I'd just seen but still...nothing was making it into my cart so far.
And then I found what this line was good for...little girl dresses and dinnerware (yes, that means all else...menswear, home decor, the pillows -- oh, the horror of the pillows -- had been annihilated from my list of acceptable). These are blogworthy cute:
I would like to add one more crumb of criticism though, dear Target, bringer of fashion G-ds to the masses: why no boy's line? You covered men, women, girls, home decor, you even brought us floral bicycles, but no boys clothes? I have to say I'm a little disappointed. A floral tie on my 6 year old with a pair of clean flat front khakis and a soft colored shirt would have been perfect with his mess of black hair. What were you thinking?
Anyway, back to the clothes. I also perused the Jean Paul Gaultier line, again with said expectations. Oh, Jean Paul, how I love you so, your namesake line and, of course, Hermes. You are brilliant and I have to say...you may have won the best "for Target" award out there. It's not just that the line is good but it's sort of what you would expect a watered down/priced right version of classic, quintessential Gaultier to look like. There were sexy dresses, great colors, stripes, and even leather. I was impressed. Out of the whole line, these two pieces were my favorite (though not necessarily together, as Target has them here):
I'll be interested to see Zac Posen's line in person, which is set to launch on April 15. Let's cross our pretty black lacquered nails that it's as cute in real-time as it is on the rack.
The Skincare of Angels
I've been a long time customer of Origins. It embraces my inner hippie, the one who likes to think she is doing things for herself that are somewhat healthy and/or beneficial for long-term maintenance. Lately, I'd been hooked on Dr. Weil's for Origins line but in case you missed it, I'm unemployed. So, sadly, I'd become victim to drugstore line jumping -- looking for something affordable that didn't completely devastate my ridiculously sensitive skin.
I found myself staring at the Oil of Olay Regenerist line because I'd convinced myself that all the stress of job hunting was causing wrinkles. And it dawned on me...the amount of money I was spending brand jumping at the pharmacy was adding up and adding up quickly! Why would I do this when I already know what works for my skin? (I love a good epiphany!)
So, I rolled my quickly-drying-up-to-the-likeness-of-an-alligator-skin over to the Origins counter and reinvested in my skin. No, I did not go for Dr. Weil's (I have not struck oil that I'm aware of) as much as I wanted to. But what I did get, I am actually far more pleased with. Behold...
Starting Over combines mimosa, green algae and argan leaf to visibly reduce the appearance of wrinkles and moisturize your skin to the likeness of a baby's bottom. It's as if angel tears were collected in a bottle and packaged in a pretty pink cream; as if the fountain of youth were discovered and shelved for your picking; as if G-d himself came down while I was sleeping with an eraser.
Together with Pure Cream cleanser (all paraben free), I finally feel like I got my skin back from my 20's. Thank you, Origins, I love you! I will never stray again.
Why on Earth Did She Wear That?
This should probably be entitled, where in the hell are her parents? I mean really, Miley? Really???
I know she is trying to be "sexy" since she's apparently now considered a "diva" (isn't that a bit of a dangerous word to use on someone so young?), but really sexy and madam are not synonymous. And I'm not entirely sure what the back is like but I'm guessing from that flash of skin under her right arm that this dish is backless. Oy. Dear child, you need a stylist. You are friends with Max Azria, afterall, could you not consult him for advice?? And those shoes....the horror.
This would work on Madonna. It would work on Dita. But it does not work on a 17 year old. Period. At all. Nyet. Non. No.
Maybe something more age appropriate? Why don't you try one of these...
from left: L'Wren Scott, Monique Lhuillier, and Elie Saab
If you were going for badass rocker chic, the L'Wren Scott would have gotten you that with an added dose of sophistication and sex appeal (remind me later to devote an entire blog to L'Wren Scott's work; she is amazing!). The Monique Lhuillier is much more ethereal and romance-y but the black tulle still gives it that bit of edge if edge, is in fact, what you are going for. And then the two Elie Saab's -- Saab, the go-to for red carpet success -- cover it up without taking away that sexiness you are so desperately trying to show. (Covering it up, I'll say it again, is often times ten times sexier!)
What it boils down to is this: honey, you have a lot of money. There is no excuse to a) dress like a tramp or b) dress like there was a brown out caused by the over indulgence of Hannah Montana mania in Nashville. Refine it a little bit, dear. It will go so much further.
And when all else fails, in the infallible words of Stanley Tucci in The Devil Wears Prada, you are in desperate need of Chanel.